Pennies aren’t real money

Posted by Rob on Mar 02, 2008 - 11:33 am

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A middle school in New Jersey gave 2 days of detention to 29 of its students this past week because they all decided to pay for their lunch in pennies (on the same day). According to CBS‘ masterful calculations, lunch ladies at the school had to deal with a staggering 5,800 pennies last Thursday. Harrowing. The students claim that they did it in order to protest the length of their lunch. Administrators say something along the lines of: “Your money is no good here.” Regardless, it looks like pennies are on the way out, just as I suspected. Read more about this elaborate protest here.

After some brief googling, I came upon this fascinating article. It turns out that Dr. Robert Whaples, a professor of economics here at Wake, has been arguing for the elimination of the penny for years. Talk about being ahead of your time. Kudos, Whaples. In fact, I propose that the Treasury issue a new $1 coin in your honor: The “Whaple.” Has a nice ring to it, non? I’ve even worked out the design (see above), so there’s no reason this baby shouldn’t be in circulation by the end of the month.

P.S. You may be wondering why the “Whaple” mock-up says “2002” on it. The answer is simple. I’ve been perfecting the design for over six years. I’d like to think that it shows.