Life > March 6, 2008

By Kelly Curran | Staff columnist

Spring Break is upon us, and with that comes sunny beaches, drinks adorned with umbrellas and lazy days on the beach. If you’re one of the lucky students going somewhere tropical, this could be a spring break to remember – if only you could remember anything past 10 p.m., that is.

Have a margarita for me, since I’ll be up in my frozen tundra homeland of Connecticut, wishing I could be burning my Irish skin to a crisp on the beach.

Spring Break gives you a chance to be as wild as you want to be for a whole week, before returning to the worker bee lifestyle at the university.

You can do something totally out of character and not worry about the entire campus knowing about it within hours, thanks to a certain guilty pleasure gossip Web site we all love to hate.

Sidenote: this is the camera disclaimer. Spring Break actions can come back to haunt you thanks to camera phones and other sneaky technology.

So if you find yourself in a wet T-shirt contest on stage at a huge party of Spring Breakers, don’t be totally shocked if the video finds its way online – you’re smart enough to see that coming.

It’s not that hard to finagle a Spring Break hook up, but there are some things you can do to make it easier on yourself.

I now present the steps to the perfect Spring Break fling!

You know those shirts in the back of your drawer?

Yes, the ones from Forever 21. The ones you are too embarrassed to wear out on a Friday night because it’s backless, strapless, and/or cleavage-y? Pack it.

Tequila.

It’s a fairly simple step – a little bit of liquid courage, but not enough to turn you into the sloppy mess everyone makes fun of the next day.

Get too drunk and you’ll end up with a “coyote ugly” situation in the morning and no one wants to be faced with gnawing off their own arm to escape an awkward morning with a formerly-cute guy.

Create an alter ego.

Everyone lies somewhat during Spring Break because no one is really being themselves. It’s one of the few times you can shed your image and let loose.

So instead of being your regular self, be Bianca Stratford, Savannah Babcock, or Trixie – no last name. They certainly sound like fun! And if you get busted, oh well, try your alter ego elsewhere.

Dance. Simple enough – stand at the bar all night and you’ll just spend all your money and seem boring.

Wedding Crashers rule #6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself but on your own terms.

Sidenote #2: this is a stupidity disclaimer. Don’t be dumb, watch where your drinks come from, who you’re with and where your friends are.

We have all heard far too many horror stories about date rape drugs and vacations gone wrong, so protect yourself. Use your friends as a filtering system – chances are that if they are pulling you off of some guy, there’s a reason. Particularly if your friends are more sober then you are, go with what they say.

The tall, dark and handsome stranger might be more akin to a shady, skeezy creep if you could take off your beer goggles.

This might be superficial, but judge the potential Spring Break fling by his friends.

If they’re cute and fun it makes him even more cute and fun.

If they’re sketchballs or jerks, chances are that he is too, but just better at hiding it if need be.

Spring Break is the perfect time to go for that guy you are attracted to but see no future with.

The burn-out surfer isn’t exactly who you would bring home to mom and dad, but he’s the perfect spring break boy.

You never have to worry about seeing him again … especially if he tries to Facebook stalk Savannah Babcock.