Life > April 24, 2008

By Kelly Curran | Staff columnist

When I got the “She Said” column, I was ecstatic. I was nervous. I was Carrie Bradshaw. I was going to chronicle the adventures of a wild, single college senior living it up in this bubble we call our world.

I was a cynic but ready to entertain the “relationship” aspect of this column.

Most of all, I was not anticipating the changes that would happen to me this year.

My cynical side is screaming “No, don’t write about this! If you put part of your self in print and then you can’t take it back!

“Write about the hassle of morning wood or why guys are obsessed with boobs – anything without emotion!” I realize this week’s topic is not something most people would want to share about themselves, but this year I have realized that I can handle many things others cannot.

I’ve held off all year on quoting Carrie Bradshaw just to use this quote someday: “I write about sex, not love, what do I know about love?”

This quote used to mean something to me, it made sense. It was my guideline for my columns to come, but that didn’t pan out.

When my friends and I were in high school, we made our predictions of who would settle down first.

I was at the end of the list, second only to my friend who is, coincidentally, getting married next month.

My friends are clearly not clairvoyant because our predictions are ass-backwards.

Alright fine, I’ll say it. I am in love. You know I have to mean it, because only some fool in love would print this next to her name and picture for all to see.

I was completely blindsided, and he wasn’t exactly prepared for me either.

It’s cliché, but so true, that when you are not looking for a relationship, it will find you. What’s more, when it is utterly inconvenient to have a boyfriend or to be in love, you will find the one you can’t stand to be without.

He finds you on the day you’re wearing gym shorts and a ratty Goodwill T-shirt.

She finds you on the ungodly hot day when you get a heat rash. But somehow it doesn’t matter.

But that was the easy part.

Now comes the realization that you have to earn this relationship.

Some may say fate plays a part in bringing people together.

I say, fine, maybe some things are destined, but has “fate” ever spent hours on a plane to visit a long-distance significant other?

Has “fate” had 4 a.m. phone conversations about whether or not you can make it work? I didn’t think so.

To me, fate is a tease.

It can give you a glimpse of something amazing, but you have to do the grunt work to make it yours.

So how has my cynicism helped me through this? It has kept me grounded. I strongly recommend everyone possess a fair amount of realism.

It ensures that you don’t get too lost in something as powerful as love. But now I realize that keeping my guard up was for the best – no one ever cared enough to fight their way in before.

I don’t fall easily, and I’m damn proud of that.

This year could have taken so many different paths.

I could have decided that I wasn’t mature enough to handle a long distance relationship and spent my year waking up in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people.

I could have begun a relationship with someone at the university, one that, I imagine, could not hold a candle to what I have now.

Lots of things could have happened, but only one scenario could have made me this happy.

So there you have it, my year in a nutshell.

A cynic finds love at a time when it was least convenient and most unexpected.

Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.