Life > April 10, 2008

By Kelly Curran | Staff columnist

I have something to get off my chest. Girls, you might not want me letting out our little secrets, but it has to be done. It’s time to admit it – women don’t make any sense.

We are never satisfied (in more ways than one) and men will never totally figure us out.

We don’t even understand each other at times.

But guys, you are no better.

Men love games, but the rules of those games change without notice. Guys can flip the switch from hot to cold in an instant.

They are just as hard to decipher as women, yet we still get the bad rep of being unstable and unpredictable.

So what happens when two people who are both utterly hard to understand are in a relationship together?

There are some inexplicable things that happen; they seem to defy logic.

These relationship paradoxes happen to the best of us; they are the things that make you want to scream, smile, cry, jump for joy and pull your hair out.

One of the greatest mysteries of men is what drives their attention.

If you are mad at your boyfriend he will call and text you more than he ever has before.

The times when you want to be around him least are the times when he wants to be around you more than anything.

It’s as if men know that they have to put their tails between their legs and be good boys (though it never lasts long).

A friend of mine recently called her best friend – who she had been in love with for years – and told him that she was over him. She told him that she needed time away from him to clear her head. Well he took that as a sign to call her more than he ever had in his life. Tell a guy you are over him and he’ll be all over you.

A paradox that even the smartest girls fall prey to is that women say they want a guy who will man up and have a committed relationship.

However, we tend to go for the unattainable guys -– the ones who think monogamy is some kind of disease. Women talk as if they will do anything to meet Mr. Right, but when Mr. Wrong comes around sometimes we don’t have the ability to pass him up.

Both men and women are guilty of Jekyll and Hyde behaviors.

We can do a 180 in the blink of an eye and sometimes we can’t even explain our own behavior.

One day a guy is cute and totally interested, the next he’s a clingy creep – it’s all a matter of perception.

Guys are definitely guilty of shifty behavior, too.

They love the chase, and they also love to drop off the face of the earth once they have what they want.

A guy will seem completely into a girl in the beginning stages.

But, to rearrange the classic words of Caesar, once he saw, conquered and came, it’s all over.

Girls are also prone to flip-flopping. Anyone who has seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days knows just how easy it is for a girl to waver on the brink of stability. We can be as sweet as sugar when we feel like it, namely until we get what we want.

Once we know we have a guy where we want him, out comes the inner crazy.

People are impossible to fully understand – and that’s coming from a psych major, sociology minor.

Men and women both have their own faults when it comes to relationships and communication.

At times we don’t understand our own wants and needs and end up doing stupid, nonsensical things.

I do not foresee any of us becoming predictable, 100 percent rational creatures anytime in the near future, so relationship paradoxes just have to be something annoying to be dealt with, like hearing your neighbor having sex through the thin walls or the “everybody rides” car commercials.