Life > February 14, 2008

By Teddy Aronson | Staff columnist

Valentine’s Day. As I sit here, I have to say I’m a bit torn on this upcoming festivity.

For some, this glorious day brings love and cheer on the wings of baby cardinals sprinkling magical pheromones all around the happiness of the world.

But for others, it’s as if a sharpshooter sent small devils from the dark sky and their lifeless bodies lie rotting on the ground.

So where should one stand? I don’t want those who loathe the event to wallow further, but at the same time I also hope to satisfy those who wish to indulge themselves in lighthearted Valentine bliss. So why not look at both? Those who have significant others and cannot wait a second longer to express their overpowering feelings for one another: Congratulations!

Your time has come to get away from life and travel to an exotic paradise where no one feels pain and there is no concept of, well, anything, except that you are there to devote yourselves to one another.

Take that romantic stroll at sunset down the coast which never ends…

BOOM!

A volcanic explosion engulfs the entire island with no end in sight!

You watch the world around you disappear as demon vultures swoop down and await your inevitable demise.

For all those who cannot stand Valentine’s Day, this is a possible portrait of what the upcoming 24 hours might feel like.

On the other hand, even without a true significant other, Valentine’s Day has also always been an opportunity for those with crushes.

Secret admirers surface, adorable little tokens of admiration are exchanged and in this little moment we know what true happiness is like.

One can just picture the picnic setup on a glorious sunny afternoon in the middle of an apple orchard…

CRASH! You just triggered a trapdoor directly beneath you!

Now you both must fall forever down a dark bottomless hole where no one can hear your screams.

You are on your way to eternal damnation, a punishment which could even make Camus’ Sisyphus shed a tear.

What of those who maintain indifference during this struggle between perceived good and evil?

Sit back, relax and enjoy the spectacles, because it seems as if everyone’s a little bit nuttier than normal.

The mixture of all the Valentine anxiety, love, hate and sugar highs brews tangible results.

Everyone in more ways than seeing red.

Wherever you stand, don’t let this day simply pass you by.

If you hate it, then hate it well! By well, I mean constructively. If you’re not happy with what’s happening currently in your love life, make Valentine’s Day the day to look for change.

Maybe next Valentine’s day you won’t have such a hatred for it.

If you have no beef with the occasion, let those you care about know how you feel.

Today’s a day on which gift-giving appreciation is comparable to the Christmas season.

Now’s the time to show the people in your life how you feel.

So take some time and think of a way to illustrate your thoughtfulness.

It’s always nice to be around the people you love.

And if you’re stuck right in the middle, hopefully you’ll be able to witness the never-ending tradition of the enemies and supporters of the holiday fighting each other until the end.