Life > April 17, 2008

By Teddy Aronson | Staff columnist

The anti-couple: a look into all that composes the good, the bad and the ugly when dealing with relational standards.

And by the term anti-couple, I am referring to the unique interaction between two lovebirds whose combined behavior parallels the mutually spiteful attitude between the perpetually conflicting Mario and Bowser, on a good day at that.

But don’t mistake my feelings as negative towards the subject. In fact, I think it might be one possible solution to many overwhelming problems today in the romantic world.

However, in the face of these issues, I am merely whelmed, no, under whelmed, for I have such faith in this new concept I would like to dub the anti-couple. Eat your heart out, Nietzsche.

The anti-couple will surpass the Übermensch in all its potential, a true to form proverbial taking candy from a baby.

Let’s just hope there are no misinterpretations this time around. That would be pretty bad.

Take a couple with standout personalities, who relentlessly engage in die-hard teasing, battering, jovial arguing and the like.

The pair who stands out above the rest of the crowd, who isn’t afraid to yell random obscenities at one another or play some ridiculously over-the-top practical joke for far too long, the type that involves meddling with something very important to the point that the consequences are almost always borderline irreparable.

But, in an ironic twist, the couple feeds off these antics, enforcing the strong aspects of their dynamic and making them even stronger.

But does it ever get old? Do the inconsistencies and spontaneities ever grow dull and obsolete?

You will be gifted with the knowledge of that standard when you smack your significant other straight in the face with a large, unforgiving pillow and the result is not shock or contempt, but rather laughter and reactive attempts at blithe retribution.

A pillow to the face is nice, but these types do all sorts to invoke the best in another. A vehement shove into a bush or tree is always a great go-to.

The classic routine of the behind-the-doorway scaring is priceless, also.

The anti-couples don’t restrict themselves to physical tribulation, either. A good verbal assault plays an important role in defying normalcy in relationships.

Keep the embarrassment to a tolerable level of cruelty, but don’t hold back too much. Boldly revealing snippets are vicious yet lovable.

I will caution that this procedure is unfortunately not for all, therefore be forewarned.

You wouldn’t want a dazzling black eye reminding the one you hit of your misguided crack at stirring things up a little.

The vindictive response will most likely cause harm to you and your relationship in the short and long run, what you could call a pretty miserable combination.

So what makes it work? Why are these unfavorable conditions so favorable for these individuals?

The anti-couple, as it were, denies the title of a “relationship” and accepts the standards acceptable by most best friends.

They deny the status quo and ignore what is expected of them and rather act solely on spontaneous feeling and emotion.

In this way, the bond of best friends that forms the foundation puts rivaling pressure upon the traditional bond of any, and I use this term loosely, stereotypical couple.

Because, let’s face it, I would take a bullet for my best friend, but would I ever really for the one I loved?

Okay, of course I would.

But, along those lines, obviously there are some interesting differences between the anti-couple and the traditional couple which resonate insight into the common relationship today.

What makes these couples so strong is that they use these untraditional aspects to reinforce a complete understanding.

The understanding that the little problems aren’t worth a second of their time, that the big problems really aren’t big at all and that their problems in general are what make them a unique and powerful force of a couple with which no one dare reckon.