Life > October 25, 2007

By Teddy Aronson | Staff writer

Halloween. A word, event, holiday in and of itself with endless connotations: autumn weather, playful trick-or-treaters and endless amounts of candy.

But, there’s another side of this quickly approaching occasion.

One that the parents of all the innocent Halloweeners out there would like to cover up, and which that guy across the street with the boarded-up windows and 10 pet raccoons, all leering over the interestingly corpse-shaped holes in the front yard, each marked with the phrase WHY MOTHER? would love to embrace: the untamed, sexually crazed festival that is Halloween.

Does life get any better around this time of year?

The weather is cooling down to a comfortable chill and it seems as if food gets progressively better as Thanksgiving approaches.

We’re also half way through the first semester, signifying an increase in the comfort level among students on campus.

What better means are there to express our joy of our new budding friendships than through the majesty of Halloween?

It’s a holiday of fantasy, imagination and overall good times, all revolving around the concept of making the biggest fool of yourself possible, but in a good way.

No other holiday even compares. Except for maybe St. Patrick’s Day.

The costumes are a real treat to witness as everyone does a great job of matching the color of their alcohol-induced vomit with the rest of their green leprechaun costume even a true fashion connoisseur could appreciate.

Costumes, from the simplest to craziest versions, are at the heart of the true Halloween experience.

It seems as if for the ladies’ costume, one must reveal their inner raunchy sex goddess.

The unwritten Halloween rules say that on this occasion dressing up as that half-nude French maid you’ve always dreamed of being is apparently just fine.

Or simply going in lingerie and topping it off with a toy hardhat magically makes you a construction worker.

That’s not cool; there are many other safety precautions, and dressing that attractively is not worth the risk. Safety first.

While for the men, that great costume idea turns out to be just revealing your true inner weirdness by the end of the night.

But that’s A-OK, because it’s Halloween.

Giving out breast exams all night while dressed as a doctor would normally be extremely inappropriate, but tonight that lab coat comes with its own official Ph.D., so it’s 100 percent legitimate.

And then there’s always that guy dowsed in fake blood with his $83 demon mask that weighs a convenient 75 pounds and scares everyone away.

But I guess it’s all in the spirit of Halloween, even though that fake bloody knife looks eerily realistic, and those supposed phony neck gashes just seem to keep gushing more and more blood.

You can blame them all you want, but the way you are is not your parent’s fault.

Overall, it’s a night of stepping outside of yourself momentarily, and enjoying the moment with the company of friends in a surreal environment.

With all these factors in the same environment, there’s always the likelihood of something unwanted happening.

Everyone’s inhibition and decisions are a bit more liberated, and one can easily abuse or take advantage of a situation.

Let’s not ruin the spirit by changing who we are for one night and doing something that’ll ruin it for someone else.

Instead, let’s not be embarrassed about the idiots we’re being, dress in the most ridiculous things we can come up with and be ourselves in another way on this wild night.

For all those trick-or-treaters out there on campus, I’ll have candy outside my room in a witch-shaped bowl.

Only one per treater, thanks.