Life > August 27, 2008

By Jay Lowrey | Staff columnist

Sex is everywhere at the university. Take a conversation between two girls in one of my classes… Girl 1: “So, last night I was with John and he did THAT like that.”

Girl 2: “Oh wow! Really? I love THAT but I don’t really know if I like it when a guy does it like that.”

Girl 1: “Well, he put it in just the right place and I was just like ‘Wow.’”

Girl 2: “Maybe there is something to that then.”

Now, I’ve been around the block a few times, but by the end of this conversation even I had no idea what was going on.

And therein lies the problem with the sexual climate at this school. We talk about sex in vague terms with meanings so bloated that even the people leading the conversations have trouble keeping track of what they are talking about.

University students use euphemisms and code names to disguise their own insecurities about sex and the idea of being a free, sexual being on this campus.

In this column I seek to break down some of these confusions and make the campus become more open about the sex that we all know is happening.

You may be asking yourself what makes me qualified to give my opinions of sex in this community.

Well, let’s just say that experience is key.

You see, I’ve had the privilege of “experiencing” just about every category of person that the university has to offer.

I’ve been with slutty girls, Catholic girls, well-endowed girls and shy girls.

I’ve been with straight guys, curious guys, bisexual guys and gay guys.

I’ve hooked up with guys who walk on the other side of the quad when they see me coming (so as not to arouse suspicion, of course), and I’ve hooked up with other people who I now call some of my best friends.

I’m not really a big fan of labels as they only seem to bring a lot of confusion and serve very little purpose.

I just date or hook up with whomever attracts me.

Whether they have one X chromosome or two, it makes no difference to me.

Dealing with sexual identity issues is never easy.

Combining that with the pressures of college life has been especially difficult.

I spent my first semester at the university feeling like I could not be myself in this new environment.

But, with love and support from my friends (not so much the fam), I have stopped caring who I’m attracted to and just started having fun.

And no matter what you want to call yourself, I hope that you can start doing the same.

With this column I plan to discuss my own sexual encounters and those of anyone who wants to share.

I hope this column will become a forum to talk about sex openly and honestly without worry of reproach or judgment.

No personal information will ever be given in the column and everyone is safe to talk about what is on his or her mind.

In this column I’ll be dishing out straight up, undisguised talk about sex.

You may read the words “penis,” “vagina” or “orgasm,” and if that shocks you then flip over to the Sports page; you won’t see any mention of a penis there.

Freud once said that “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar,” but I beg to differ – here at the university, a cigar is never just a cigar.

“He Said” is a bi-weekly column that presents one guy’s perspective on the college sex scene. You may contact him with your feedback or ideas at lowrjs7@wfu.edu.