Life > September 4, 2008

By Hannah Werthan | Staff columnist

I was doing my daily check of the appropriately-named Web site dailybedpost.com, when I stumbled upon an entry that begs the question, “Why doesn’t my boyfriend like to cuddle?”

Wait a second – this girl is in a serious relationship without cuddling? I don’t understand. What do you do right after sex – declare that it was good and then run?

I know that kind of stuff happens in the movies, but I didn’t think this was a real-life issue.

How is that a mature relationship? I know I’m perhaps not one to judge, since I’m still in college surrounded by masses of non-cuddlers on the prowl for the “sex and flee,” but I just don’t think that’s right.

The whole cuddling debacle took me back to my “glorious” high school days, when I used to hook-up with boys in the back of their (or maybe their mother’s) cars.

It was horribly uncomfortable and not that enjoyable, although there was the adrenaline rush due to the possibility of being caught.

There was certainly not a whole lot of cuddling involved in this ridiculous stage.

I do remember one cuddling-like situation once when someone I was casually seeing parked his car in his school’s abandoned parking lot.

This was conveniently located across the street from my house, which shows how bright we were. Unfortunately – or maybe fortunately looking back – a car headed towards us with its brights on snapped us back into reality.

Upon discovering that it was not, in fact, my parents, I was ready to resume our session, but he took the opportunity to drop me off and speed away.

Two long years ago, when I was younger and horribly naive, I wrote the whole cuddling thing off as stupid. I thought it was a waste of time during the precious hours we had before curfew.

But now, I can’t quite let this non-cuddling relationship off the hook.

Cuddling boyfriends are like teddy bear replacements. After a certain age, those precious stuffed animals go out of style, but the upgraded version is much better.

While I’m sure all of us used to converse intensely with our beloved but fake cuddle buddies, guys actually talk back. Most of the time.

We’re no longer in high school, girls. I say we agree to start demanding cuddling from the other sex.

Don’t agree to do something in return for him, either. This is our right.

I got a criticism from my first stab at She Said for being an “overly feministic female,” but I swear I’m not completely cruel to guys.

This whole cuddling situation works both ways. Some girls claim to dislike close interactions without sex just as much as the gender with the bad reputation.

Either they are just out there for casual sex or – and I hope I’m getting this right – they just haven’t yet fully grasped the art of cuddling. I think it’s best to give it time.

The other problem with the aforementioned relationship is that they are having some kind of communication issue.

Why is this girl asking a Web site a question she should be asking her boyfriend? I mean, inevitably his answer will be “I don’t know,” but all she has to do is keep prying.

Maybe he doesn’t like when she likes to cuddle or how she likes to cuddle.

Maybe he just never was asked to cuddle but would like to and is actually offended that she assumed he didn’t like it.

Then again, maybe he’s just not that into her. It happens.