hatch

another phenomenal broadcast email that went on too long

Hatch tells us nothing new

Students received a perfectly timed-10 a.m. e-mail from President Nathan O. Hatch today revealing, or really explaining why we are forcing faculty out of Faculty Apartments.

Hatch confirmed what we all knew, that our dorms are outdated and gross AND that we are going to need new dorms to house the prescribed increase in enrollment, to take effect next year. Thank God I’m a junior.

Natty said:

Because it is my practice to share information with you frequently, I wish
that we had been in a position to give more than four or five months’ notice
to residents, but it was not feasible with this combination of factors in
play. Sometimes, the congruence of circumstances dictates the timing and
sequence of decisions, and the housing challenge was such an occasion.

Oh Nathan, that’s some serious poetic crap.

The plan in whole, intended to spur national rankings and recognition of the university, has backfired shamelessly, creating unprecedented student resentment towards the administration. As one of my senior friends said, “[the e-mail] was hilariously jam-packed with horse s***.“

All I want is a rec center, please?

Tags: wake+forest+university, hatch, enrollment, | 4 Comments

Go Study

I’m dead serious.

Get to the library.

The 24-hour rooms have been renovated and although you can only access the room on the right, it is a masterpiece. Congratulations Nathan Hatch you are now 1-3,409,858,865.
There are tables, comfy chairs, super-modern looking lamps, OUTLETS, and this all happens on two levels with a staircase out of a fairytale (you know the kind that curves as it comes down).

Hey, they don’t call it “Work Forest” for nothing, I’m taking this small victory and running to Zach with it.

Tags: hatch, 24-hour+room, zsr, | Comment

Get it Hatch

Good Form

Thinking about hosting tailgate this weekend? Get Hatch to hold your mini-keg. Apparently the Iowa Central Community College President, Robert Paxton, thought it would be ok to help a girl get her drink on. His compensation, a swift boot out of the school and $400 K. Maybe if we act now we can get the SAT back?

Tags: hatch, drinking, | Comment